Rabbit Hole (2010)

There are so many horrible things that cause pain for a human being. Many of them are physical, many of them are emotional. One event that always transcends those types of pain: the death of a young child. Becoming parents is in many ways creating a legacy. Having a child means being able to pass on wisdom and values. Nobody can know the effects of having that legacy tragically cut short, unless they experience it.  In John Cameron Mitchell's “Rabbit Hole” we see a fraction of those effects. Based on David Lindsay-Albaire play, “Rabbit Hole” takes an insider's look at the destructive effects of losing a young child.

The story is simple. Married couple Becca and Howie (Nichole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart) have recently lost their young son to a tragic car accident. Their dog ran out into the street and their son ran out after him and was struck by a car driven by a teenager. The teenager wasn't drunk or speeding. It was simply one of those things that you can't always guard against unless you leash both dog and child. Nobody is really to blame, although, there is a lot of blaming. Each parent blames themselves. Becca admits that she should have locked the gate on the dog cage, Howie knows that it was actually him who left the gate unlocked, and if they hadn't gotten the dog he loves, then nothing of this would have happened, etc. Isn't it funny as human beings, when a tragedy occurs, we always have to find somebody to blame, even if it has to be ourselves? We search for some kind of force, somebody or something that caused it; who can right the wrong. What happens when there is nobody to blame?

Becca and Howie try and cope with their grief in different and opposing ways. Becca, who stays at home most of the day sees her son everywhere, in the fingerprints on the door jamb, in the clothes still left in the drawer, or the dog that her son loved and eventually led him to his death. Howie, who leaves the house for work, cherishes these things that remind him of his son. He loves his dog, he loves seeing the remnants of his son, he finds comfort in them. There is no right or wrong here, there is only difference and unfortunately so. Where can you go to be understood, if you can't understand your husband or your wife?

They try to go to group therapy. Becca doesn't come back after the first meeting. Howie continues to go, but soon realizes he best finds comfort and relief in a relaxing toke and new conversation. Becca finds comfort and relief by befriending the teenager whose mere act of driving down a street, killed her son. Again, it wasn't his fault, she knows that. He apologizes, we know he's very sorry. He, even tries to blame himself like they did. She finds comfort in the connection she made at the moment another was lost. There's no right or wrong here.  Becca's mother (Diane Wiest) also lost a son, albeit at 30 years of age and by less innocent means, and wants to empathize, to show Becca that she knows what she's going through. Becca resents that. There is no right or wrong, there is no similarity. How do you continue living when you reach a seemingly unresolvable tragedy? Becca and Howie try living one day and see how it goes from there.

 

The acting drives the story. Kidman and Eckhart perform brilliantly. There is such range required in a movie like this. Alternating quiet subtlety and explosive clarity; whispering and yelling, sorrow and joy. Wiest brings a scarred wisdom that is required as a look at how loss can really hurt a person not only physically but emotionally. Even Miles Teller, the unfortunate teenage driver of the car that killed the son, gives exactly the performance required for this movie. “Rabbit Hole” is a powerful movie that doesn't give any answers as to how to deal with the death of a child, because honestly, there really aren't any answers like that. Each instance is vastly different. A child is so incredibly personal to a parent that to lose one is to lose a part of oneself, and nobody can really understand exactly how that feels. Only those who experience that loss can come close, but no one can ever truly know.

8/10